| and it gets so old just saying we'll keep trying |
[16 Jul 2005|10:37am] |
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the rocket summer |
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so its been almost 3 months.ya,graduation.woo hoo.new york.woo hoo x3.summer school.lame.i fucking hate hospitals.like honestly.spending 8 hours a day for 3 days straight.she needs to get better.i love you kelly.painting rooms in houses i will never stay at is a waste of money, but a great way to leave stains on your boy clothes.i suck at tennis and am the ugliest when my hairs up.i hate how i act to my neighbor and that i wont allow myself to like him.i miss my ex-girlfriend.you can tell by the necklace.im making myself sick by trying to let you know how i feel.without being too dependent.its scaring me that i may like one more than the other now.astrology is real.i wish i hung out with other people more.and that i didnt have so many enemies.and that this entry had a point.oh ya, and me and jennifer z. do smoke together everyday.now what?
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| retrace the steps, as if we forgot |
[01 May 2005|05:44pm] |
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amused |
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23 |
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we're imperfect.get over it.sorry for not being what you know i should be.the ride was trippy, and i was the girl who threw up on it.last time you watched fireworks.i know you love him.you just have better self control than myself.we have more to say when we dont know what we are saying.less than two months left.way too many pictures.
( its too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore )
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[31 Mar 2005|05:53pm] |
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 okay |
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if it kills |
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you can't live what's gone; you can only remember it, and memories have no life.they're just pale reminders of a time that's gone- like faded photograps, or dried-up daisy chains at the back of a drawer.they have no substance.they can't take you back.nothing can take you back.nothing can be the same as it was.nothing is.
so spring break was amazing.chicago.hanging out with my sister and going to random shows for jarred.i wish i never had to come back.
( so quit your life and stay with me. )
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[13 Mar 2005|01:23pm] |
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word. |
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mae |
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a year ago i loved you.you loved me too right? its funny to think about how much has changed.vegas weddings are fun.when half the quests + the bride are strippers.i love hanging out with my two best friends and being complete losers.then hanging out with my sister and her random friends in parking lots+stonefire+starbucks+amc.i love you kelly and stacy.about one week till chicago.yeahhhh.
( i dig it. )
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| Th0masL11: heres a fun fact.............you made out with aviv |
[15 Feb 2005|09:51pm] |
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 eff you. |
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lead by example |
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please disregard some of the statements i made in the last entry.i was not in love.no, not in love at all.don't worry. because i know longer trust you.any of you. just stop being fake.im not going to freak out.or get all hurt. im just letting you know.keep your fucking mouth shut.because you don't know me.so the past month...wow.lets just say a lot of things have happened.some i am not too proud of but hey, lets live in the moment.some things were supposed to be lost by now. like the big V.jen, you will understand that.this is effing pointless and my best friend just got in a car accident so me and him are gonna go be cool and have a sleep over.
( i keep on talking trash but i never say anything. )
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| im always writing you postcards. |
[12 Jan 2005|07:55pm] |
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you |
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broken glass syndrome;halifax |
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i think i am too happy for you.or for life.my winter break was amazing.good time off of school.i got to hang out with people who actually mean something to me.new friends and old.all of whom i realized i love more than anything.we got back together.not like any of you care.but i got the greatest gift.of which i do not deserve.happy birhtday babe.the rain is beginning to be too much.its too sad and gloomy.and you could have had a million kisses in it by now.school sucks.but i love my friends, they are the funniest kids alive.vegas is calling our names.so for once i may have a birthday to remember.i have had the same livejournal for almost a year and a half now.which is so terribley sad because i despise the name.but refuse to start a new one.no new years resolutions.things that will just be broken.but all i can say is that i think this year is going to be okay.
( just saying how good it feels not to have you here. )
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| i'll wait for you, but i can't wait forever |
[15 Dec 2004|09:34pm] |
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hawthorne heights::ohio is for lovers |
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im in love with hawthorne heights, for the week.so much is going on i feel like im just in a crazy mix of every emotion in the world.hopefully the next few days will go by quickly and winter break will be better than expected.i guess a lot of things have happened over the past month.alicia kelly and i went to yellowcard and starting line and i had the greatest time ever.nothing will ever be that fun.things changed with the person ive been in love with for the past year...but i guess its working out?and i found out that a lot of people knew more about me then i thought.i got a boyfriend...christmas eve will be our one month.hopefully.but then again im not one for the whole "omg we have been dating for 2.5 seconds and im in love!!"...no offsense.ive hung out with shayna and alicia a lot lately...god i love those girls.they are the most blunt best friends ever...not in a bad way.we go to parties with our parents and watch them get drunk and go to the swap meet to fight with..er.."people" about engraving our ugly rings.i loved tonight and hanging out with morgan and alicia having ketchup and coke fights in the wendys parking lot...oh and going to the fagpole.
( you kill me well.you like it too and i cant tell. )
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| your boyfriend forgot your special day. |
[23 Nov 2004|06:11pm] |
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okay |
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mcr |
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my dear friends where have you been all of my life?okay so enough with this emo shit.jen...lets be a little optimistic about life.oh god..now im talkng to myself.=).well there is a lot of shit going on but screw it.i love noam.there..happy.alicia samarah morgan and shayna.god what would i do without you four.no more shout outs.cause i love you all.how about there is a five day weekend headed our way.yellowcard starting line concert.cant f-ing wait.so they arent the best band out there but hey.possibility of an amazing time.i look the same i did almost a year ago.which depresses me cause everyone else looks older.8th grade is looking up.maybe this year ill be able to pick out the best friends from the backstabbers.if only i was so lucky last year.oh well.kissing in the rain isnt overrated.expect now i may be sick.seinfeld comes out on dvd today.right alicia?happy f-ing birthday to you.ya you know who you are.
( rain rain go away... )
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| i never said i'd lie and wait forever |
[16 Nov 2004|07:22pm] |
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cemetry drive |
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i hate everything.okay so maybe not everything but close enough.my mother thinks half of a beer will make my day better...and well, it does help...but i still dont want to be in f-ing boringville,california anymore.i complain too much but whatever.thats me...deal with it.im in the market for a new best friend.considering mine have all gone down different paths to boys...and well...boys.i dont know who i am or what the purpose of this is.i love reading old entries and see what i was doing a year ago today.and remembering how much stuff has changed since then.i love the boy who i consider my bestfriend and boyfriend at the same time.even though he is nethier.i love how people make fun of me just for being me and how i try too hard to be someone i am not.try to be original and envy everyone who is.with all the bracelets and my so-6th-grade-shoes.im starting to like my parents more than anyone else because they at least try to help but know nothing about my secret life.the one you too know nothing about.im starting over as just friends with a couple of people.but i must confess.its extremely hard being just your friend.i hate that my closest friends i cant even laugh with anymore.and thats what i need....what everyone needs.people who wont lie to your face but make you laugh and remember why you are friends with them.my mom warned me about california boys....and everything else...but it never could prepare me for this.change is always something i hate and threaten to kill...but it seems like i have recently found myself striving for it.my dad buys me little cakes because i get good grades.even though i never see him and can see the hurt in their eyes.my mom worries too much about me and then jokes about how i keep everything from everyone...including myself.i avoid mirrors.its to the point where even if i was the most beautiful person alive...i would still see myself as ugly as a pile of garbage because of what i have become.i love how i write all this for the whole world to see.only when i need to see it myself.
( and the collision of your kiss that made it so hard )
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| and whats the worst you take from every heart you break. |
[02 Nov 2004|09:29pm] |
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i figured an update was needed.i have liked a boy for a while now and just figured it out.im stupid, this i know.samarah is my best friend and i love her even though she is annoying when she *drinks soda with a straw*.me sean jen morgan casey and shelby go to rubys and see how far we can stick chicken fingers down out throats and talk about 10 minute shaves.shayna and i are the sluttest faries on red bull out there.and buy sailor hats for no reason.and me and my best guy friend have sleepovers where we talk funny with our retainers and talk about our love lives.and he goes with me to see guys i think are hot because he knows ill check girls out with him. my parents are afraid of my music and i yell at stupid girls who arent pro gay marriage.i never look straight in pictures.i always look the other way.further proving the point that i cant do anything straight.im addicted to sex and the city and need a vacation.everyone i see wears my glasses.and J2SM is cooler than you.there are about 38486 pictures but it just makes this all more exciting to look at.
( love is the red the rose on your coffin door. )
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[12 Oct 2004|09:22pm] |
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the past couple of weeks have sucked.with the expection of some good weekends. mazis party was fun.even if half you people were bored.the bathroom was the cool place.things are pretty shitty right this second.i miss shelby and becca.cause we have fun and i dont stop laughing when im with them.some people are ruining my 8th grade.so please leave me alone.oh and i hate all the couples who go around holding hands.i mean i love all you guys but dont your hands ever get sweaty?and dont you miss having your own life?
( i feel like i lose everything when you're gone. )
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| i heart you. |
[27 Sep 2004|05:25pm] |
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revenge of the nerds. |
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so im in love with the past couple of days.
i got to hang out with alicia samarah and shayna pretty much all weekend.
i need to stop jumping in pools fully clothed.and then riding bikes to alicias with shayna talking about flavored condoms.
i heart mazi.be jealous.
donnie darko is the shit...."chut up!" "go back to china".
i got a myspace cause im trendy.and have no life.
alicias needs to get a bigger shower.
oh and jojo needs to stop making love songs cause shes like 13.
happy late birthday brenda and early birthday mazi and samarah.cause i probabaly wont update before then.
( everythings bigger in colorado )
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| this is the end... |
[16 Sep 2004|11:11am] |
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soty |
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i really have absolutely nothing to say.but i figured i should update.i realize no one is going to comment because i didnt put pictures or a big anouncement of some sort and because i have about 2 people who only comment on every other entry i have.
school can die.so i could be happy.i switched out of my math class just because i knew i would fail...and thats just not acceptable.i officaly hate everyone at school and need to get away from 8th grade.everyone is way too fake.including me.
i currently am mad at the world and probabaly further will be until i stop lying to everyone.
im sorry alicia and samarah.i didnt mean it.
story of the year has taken over me again for this moment.
and i need to stop writing like i can.
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| the only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips; i hope they taste of me forever. |
[07 Sep 2004|08:16pm] |
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f.o.b. |
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hawaii was more amazing than words can express.morgan is my best friend and none of you fuckers can change that.went snorkling crabbing beaching and such.had a kid named sparky that now is beccas.hung out with casey which was fun till my top fell off twice because of the stupid rock.&green shorts.my computer doesnt love me so i had to wait till today to update with pictures.thats why there are about 2.5 million of them.the two greatest people ever picked me up from the airport because i have the best best friends ever.i love you alicia and samarah.i have hung out with them everyday since i've been home and that is how summer should have been.school starts in 2 days.can you feel the excitement?gag.
p.s. i have to get glasses.&&im addicited to fall out boy...if you were wondering.
( to my favorite liar.to my favorite scar. )
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[24 Aug 2004|04:28pm] |
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blah |
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some show alicias watching. |
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so last week i went to disneyland again with kelly jarred and sean.then friday till yesterday i was on my cruise.which was...cruisey.it was fun being in the middle of no were.last night alicia and samarah spent the night for some bff bonding.10 fingers is funner than you.tomorrow i go to hawaii to hang out with morgan for 8 days.should be fun.
( speed demons. )
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| activeAdrenaline: did you sex my dress |
[15 Aug 2004|02:10am] |
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how to deal...best movie. |
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if you havent noticed i only update with pictures this summer.get fucking used to it.this week was great...again.me and alicia hung out a lot.with teague...and samarah...and morgan.went to hurricane harbor tuesday with alicia.wednesday alicia teague and samarah came over so we could meet him.went to disneyland thursday with teague alicia and samarah.friday hung out with teague morgan and alicia and messed with her sister.then tonight was jens bat mitzvah which was uber fun.
p.s.rough draft and jennifer goobye own.
( biotchkins )
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| so bury me in memory.his smile's your rope.wrap it tight around your throat. |
[08 Aug 2004|05:46pm] |
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happy |
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eurotrip.....scotty doesnt knowwwwwwww |
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this week was freaking amazing.saturday i went to 3rd street and the pier with kelly romeo and sean.more fun than you had.2 times in one week.dear lord.hope came down and we hung out with random people.sunday commons with edan and oren.monday morgans.tuesday morgan and alicia.wednesday bff bonding.thursday disneyland.friday samarah and morgan.amc.hope left yesterday but wow was last night fun.i love when i randomly see samarah at 2 in the morning. ( and so it started with... )
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| so why should I take your hand when you can't promise happy endings? |
[28 Jul 2004|12:34am] |
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amber pacific-thoughts before me |
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wow.i have seen napoleon dynamite 5 times now.got ashlee simpsons autograph cause im cool like that.opened a drawer with my nose...have the video too prove it.=).finally went to the beach.i spent the whole weekend with alicia and shayna.playing clue and cheating.be jealous.
the best friends coming friday...hopefully.
im in need of hanging out with hayley laurel oren sharon samarah jessica anna karin sari edan shelby juliana and all of those cool people.
( oh summmer )
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| Heck YES Ligers: jen, you have to realize this, people change |
[18 Jul 2004|04:17pm] |
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.our cd. |
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six flags owns.i love facing your own fears.hanging out with your two best friends..after yelling at both of them to apologize to each other. being so embarassed by your parents its funny.not going to sleep until eight in the morning because you cant sleep and miss your best friend.but things always turn out bad. i mean always.
i hate when things change.when we finally have to face the fact that we wont be best friends forever.when our dreams are shot to hell.when summer really is for losing you.for moving on and getting hurt.and becoming strangers with people you once thought you knew everything about.summer is an excuse for leaving.and to be left.i guess you do have to give up one good thing to get another.
last night was amzingly fun.haha reading...er."peoples" livejournals...well mostly their sex dreams/stories.very funny when me and alicia are gagging and morgan is smiling.alicia sneezes..i burp..and morgan farts...all at the same time.we are awesome.
( things arent what they seem. )
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| lies n go0dbyes: ha lesbian |
[11 Jul 2004|12:41am] |
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saturday night live.....not even funny. |
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this week has been fun.
saw/hung out with morgan laurel sharon karin hayley alex noam edan cameron adam ben simon adam jake hope and other random people.
week consisted off napoleon dynamite twice.dodger game.oldies.walking everywhere.hurrican harbor.gaymc.7-elevan.drunk sisters <33.stonefire.party city.morgans.butterfly effect.oh and south park owns.
i miss alicia.
_i hate that she doesnt care that we havent hung out all summer.that we are her best friends but dont even talk.that we now know nothing about whats going on with each other.it sucks._
i cut my hair and died the underneath black.becuase i got to boring for even myself to handle.
noams leaving and i hate that.i love you.
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